Books that Change Lives – Living Your Best Life

Book Review – Living Your Best Life – Laura Berman Fortgang

I found this book a really good read in terms that it was the first Coaching book I read and I could see the strategies from the Co-active Coaching being reiterated here also.  I’ve discovered that I love books that have lists of techniques/advice.  If a book just generally tells a story, even though the story is compelling, I find it difficult to put the learning into practice.  This is why I like this book – 10 strategies – get to it!

Laura suggests ten tried-and-true strategies that help us to access our own inner knowledge to achieve what she calls a “best life”.  She uses these techniques (in that order) to focus on “our purpose”, what do we really want, rather than getting lost in trying to have everything or other irrelevant things.  If we design a plan to achieve our purpose we will achieve what we deserve.

Ask What , Not Why – This was also mentioned in Coaching Class.  I will never use a Why question again.  I have noticed that if I am ever act out/negatively etc, it is usually because I’m feeling defensive – usually because of a why question.  When I act defensive I am not at my best and therefore I began to think, how many times have I made other people defensive.  Great learning.

Train the Brain – this technique is about looking at your negative thoughts and assumptions.  What she suggests is that we should choose a “ruling idea” – set yourself up with a positive ruling idea for the day and let that set the tone for the day.  I do this all the time – I didn’t know what it was called but I do it.  She also mentions those evil defining beliefs (otherwise known as SLBs) and changing them into expanding beliefs and how simple it can be done.  This is something I work on every day and probably will for the rest of my life!

Gain Perspective – Not everything is about ME!  We need to get over ourselves.  There are a number of ways to gain perspective, 1) helping others and by doing so you will find/help yourself,  2) choose to love gives you power  and 3) be grateful.  I have definitely found this useful – helping some friends who got themselves in a predicament and its weird but its like I know that predicament and someone way back when helped me out of mine back then.  Its so weird what goes around comes around.  I try now every day to be grateful for my wonderful husband, daughter and life we have.

Act on What you Feel, Not on What you Think – This one is difficult as I have been so long thinking and being logical that its hard to find the real feeling.  Laura has a good technique here 1) memorise your (new) list of priorities 2) use the list as a measuring stick every time there is a demand on my time and 3) eventually I will feel when my time is being used wrongly – its essential that the list is kept to 5.

Make a Simple Contract – Focus on the present and make a simple contract to take care of the real matters.  1) Evaluate your life – what are the areas that I’m not happy with 2) Put the contract into action and the truth will help you take action 3) freedom helps as you are finally doing something about it.

Discover Your Lucrative Purpose – this step is about defining who I am and not about what I do.  A good way to discover your purpose is to ask who you have been in the past (not what you did).  Look and interpret your dreams – there are clues there and thirdly listen and look to be the people around you – listen to their wisdom.

Make Yourself a Magnet – This is about the power of attracting – working on yourself from the inside out to bring about the outcomes I want.  Its about me being positively charged so that I attract the right people, opportunities or chances.  Its about honouring my values/time, expecting good things to happen, doing my best, maintaining integrity, being aware and believing.  I do this a lot more than I ever used to do and I find the more you do it, the better you get at it.

Become a master at focusing -This is the hard one – focusing through silence, through intention and on my own life.  This I can do as my husband (now) sees the need for me to have time to myself/by myself so this I can do. I have not started doing but I will do and I know like the rest, the more I do the better I will get.

Ask for directions before you are lost – the focusing helps this one too as I need to listen to my intuition more.  I have been learning to do this more and more. So the message here is to focus on me/where am I going and know intuitively before I’m lost that I’m losing my way. Remember fear is the enemy of intuition so I need to know the difference between the two of them.

Give up need to know – I do this but not enough.  I need to trust more in myself to know that it will work out because I make it happen.  I don’t need to know anything else about the plan, only that I envisage it and I am working towards it and inwardly know I will succeed.

Graduate of the Diploma in Executive and Life Coaching