Though our eyes are open. Sometimes, we can’t see

That one thing that we dream about most we already have. Sometimes we look for it everywhere and we forget to check our “here and now”. Staring into the distance we overlook what’s right in front of us. More often than not we already have, at least to some degree, that thing that we want so much. We’ve levels of success that we don’t even notice. Our attention is on (the often illusive) ALL when we already have A LOT.

When I was in my late teens I loved Summers (as you do). There was always so much happening. The constant buzz of friends in and out of the house, trips to the countryside and countless evenings of karaoke or movies. Great times! Noisy but great!

I remember one particular Summer that was even more special to me. One of those evenings when about 8 of us sat outside enjoying cold drinks (mainly ice tea 🙂 )… someone joined us. It was my brother’s friend who I immediately became very fond of. You probably pictured now this wonderful teenage Summer romance in the sun, first boyfriend, first girlfriend… SO CUTE! Not really, that isn’t what happened…

I enjoyed his company all Summer. He was visiting us almost every day to spend time with friends. He took part in almost every activity, game we played or trip away. Pure Summer fun. Being as shy as I was at the time I spent that Summer wishing he had been as keen to be around me as I had been to be around him. It made me happy to see him or talk to him almost every day as I knew that this was probably as much as was going to happen between us. I wish I had been a few years older at the time, but… back to the story…

So the Summer ended and the fun ended. Everyone went back to school and our friends did not have that much time to visit us anymore. Eventually he also stopped coming around. The following year I moved to a different city to start college and as we grew up our Summers together became a wonderful but distant memory. I remember thinking about him every now and then and those enjoyable Summer evenings that seemed to be way in the past now.

Until about 3 years later when I was telling my friend this exact story and I was suddenly enlightened. Recalling what happened that Summer, telling her about the fun times I had hanging out with him, singing songs, watching movies and swimming in the lake, I suddenly understood that every single time he came to see ALL of his friends in our house, in fact he came to see ME.

Call me silly (Ok, I was) but I really hadn’t noticed. Maybe he was as shy as me and he never took real steps to make it obvious. It took me 3 years to realise that although that Summer we were amongst friends, we enjoyed one another’s company most. He enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed his. I wanted his attention so much though that I failed to notice when I actually had it.

You can imagine how hard my friend laughed at me when I told her what I had just understood. It took her 15 minutes to calm down.

So here it is – a perfect example of inattentional blindness. Maybe this particular story is funny and it does bring a smile to my face whenever I think about it. But what if we often miss the best in life because we keep racing for more? What if it’s more serious next time? Even though our eyes are open, sometimes we can’t see. I don’t want to (ever again) miss my levels of success on the way, miss what’s right in front of me, because my attention is fixed on some point way in the distance.

If what comes to your mind now is gratitude, that’s probably a good connection. Gratitude is what makes us stop and notice the here and the now. It takes just a few minutes each day to truly understand the wealth of what we already have. It takes our mind off the gap that we seem to see in between.

So have goals but pay attention. Appreciate what you already have. Maybe one of these days you will realise that this one thing that you wanted SO MUCH is right in front of you. Do it now, before it’s too late.

Author : Joanna Sobczak, PSG