Resistance shows up as a loud and powerful voice in our head. It can be so powerful that we can talk ourselves out of our desired actions and behaviours. We all have memories of the countless times we have made promises to ourselves about doing the right things and changing unwanted habits. We choose instead to listen to that voice in our head and not follow through.
How it shows up, is when we hear in our mind that voice saying ‘today is not a good day’ ‘start on Monday’ or ‘you’re just like your mother, it’s pointless even trying’. It shows up also when we engage in fruitless debate in our mind without getting things done. Alternatively our brain signals us to attack and destroy any new plan or our brain loves to lead us away to shiny objects of distraction. Our brain is very clever, it deploys the best tactics to distract us away from breaking the habit of being ourselves, to keep us “safe” and the same.
To understand our own resistance, we have to understand our own personal drivers in how we operate. We all have default ways of being, that are a combination of past experience, conscious responses and unconscious reactions, prompted during our every-day lives. Our being is rooted in our beliefs about ourselves, our attachment to our identity and our attitude towards events and outcomes we try and anticipate, as we look ahead to the future.
We all have a bias, in some degree towards negative or positive thinking about potential outcomes, depending on the situation. Our brains are predictive machines, and attempt to keep us safe, by filling in our future reality based on our core beliefs, and our default way of being.
The first thing we love to resist is change. We know that change is essential for us to make progress, and grow, yet we love to stay comfortable, and safe in the certainty of our routines.
Since the birth of the internet, the speed of change has changed, with breakthroughs in science and technology revolutionizing how we get things done and how we interact with other people. This upgrade in our lives has been very positive, with our levels of comfort and convenience at an all-time high. The downside is that the increase in comfort is matched with a shift in our attitude toward change, and the force of resistance. We are getting stuck in the same patterns of thinking and getting stuck in our heads full of resistant thoughts circling around and around.
So how do we break through our resistance to change?
We need to train our brain “muscle”, just like we train our physical muscles.
Continue next week…
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