Our reality changes.
It changes so fast that many of us feel sometimes that they lose touch. And indeed we may lose touch with the development of modern technology, we may not be sure about the ways to use it and we may be in doubt as to how we can benefit from it. This may be true.
However this isn’t everything we are.
We can never really lose touch with our true selves, our nature and the ways in which we connect with the world. There is comfort that comes from these words “Some Things Will Never Change“. Some of our needs, wants and wishes have remained the same over centuries.
“If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.”Brené Brown
- We are driven by good intentions – it’s true even though it’s not always apparent. You can probably find a lot of examples of some harsh way in which people treated you in the past. So let’s clarify ”good intentions”. Most people mean well and they believe they are doing their absolute best with the resources they have. Our reactions and behaviour are based on previous experiences, knowledge and past interactions with others. These are indeed the best resources we have available to us.
- We want connections – that is how we have been designed and shaped by mother nature. We don’t function effectively without others and truly deep down inside we want to be surrounded by those we feel close to. Even though in today’s world it may seem sometimes that we are satisfied with just a top level, superficial connections… short term maybe.
As best as we can in different circumstances we look for like-minded people, we look for love, friendships, partnership and a bond. No modern technology or fast paced living will ever change that.
“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”Brené Brown
- We want to be heard – we all have stories to tell, stories worth telling. We have our own individual voices that are not always the loudest but always worth listening to. We want to bring meaning to our own and other people’s lives through our choices, decisions and acts. That is how our story is told, this is how we leave legacy.
- We want to be valued – and this isn’t about a modern type recognition, media attention and “fame”. It’s about an innate human need to add value and feel included in a group, in a society. Being valued means a meaningful hug from your loved one or maybe a pat on the back from a friend. It’s not about the celebrity type of attention because what’s on the surface doesn’t last. What we truly want is to be recognised by those who mean the most to us.
- We want to be loved – this brings about a great sense of peace inside me. Why? Because I know that we want to tell ourselves that our reality is different and therefore people are inevitably changing. Together with new ways of living, new humans have been emerging. Turns out that we couldn’t be further away from the truth. If we continue to voluntarily deny our real need for love and belonging, we’ll only need more teachers like Brene Brown or Byron Katie to wake us up. And there will be more of them and their voice will be louder. We need to be loved to thrive, otherwise we just survive!
- We are all worthy of love and belonging –
“Here’s what is truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now, not if, not when, we’re worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”Brené Brown
Some things will never change. When it comes to our needs, wants and wishes we have been, are and will remain the same. No new technology or a great creative idea can transform our true nature. It can only strive to help us meet those needs in some brand new, never before invented way.
“When I let go of trying to be everything to everyone, I had much more time, attention, love, and connection for the important people in my life.” Brené Brown
This Valentine’s Day we wish you a lot of deep human connections. We wish you a sense of real understanding with another human being. We wish you a sense of true belonging. We wish you love.
And it doesn’t matter if the candles are lit or you’re holding in your hand a bunch of beautiful red roses. These are great bonuses. We wish you THE REAL stuff that will never change!
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