The Ground Rules of Assertiveness

 Stand Strong with the ground rules of assertiveness

Assertiveness is a word that has a different meaning for everyone of us. And even though we all agree that it is a specific way of interacting with others, this interaction will look differently for everyone. Your “If I was more assertive I would…” will be different than mine. And that’s great. We are all individuals. If I set a goal to be more assertive in my life, my success will look differently to yours.

There is however one major misconception about assertiveness that leads us astray. This misunderstanding negatively impacts our attitude towards learning the concepts of effective communication and impacts the level of success we achieve with the learning.

Assertiveness is not only about saying “No“. It is not a set of skills that give us confidence to talk down to others, to argue and question others or to be defensive. Learning assertiveness skills in order to stand up for yourself against others is hopeless, pointless and it diminishes the purpose of effective communication.

That’s what assertiveness is Not!

Shift focus

So now let’s find out what assertiveness actually is and how to benefit from the developing the skills associated with assertive communication. For anyone considering the benefits of assertiveness in their lives let’s introduce the ground rules of assertiveness:

• Assertiveness is about you. The focus is on you and your behavior
• It starts with the realization and your acceptance that you have rights
• These rights are for you to honor first. Others may still not honor your rights even when made aware of them. It is your job to stand your ground for yourself (not to change others way of thinking, acting and behaving)
• Others have rights too and they are exactly the same as yours
• In assertive communication both sides involved are equal
• Rules of assertiveness apply also to the way you treat yourself, speak to yourself and think of yourself (when you hear your own judgmental self-talk)

Assertiveness is about setting boundaries and maintaining your personal rights. Others don’t have to and may not. Trying to force our rights onto others leads to aggression which is a form of communication that’s overpowering and disrespectful. Assertive communication is based on equality and if necessary on compromise. The intention behind assertive communication is to understand and be understood as opposed to an ego driven need to be right.

So start with yourself and focus on yourself.  Set your own personal goals for assertive communication and develop skills.

Assertiveness Workshop

Join us to learn practical techniques and strategies that work. Take steps toward more effective communication with others and with yourself.

This workshop runs on a regular basis throughout the year so check the website for latest dates, prices and offers. If you want to be contacted for future dates please email info@psg.ie

Details :

Book here : Details of upcoming events

Time : 6:30pm – 9:30pm

Venue : Grand Canal Hotel, Ballsbridge, Dublin 4

Author : Joanna Michalowska